Personally, I can tend to get so wrapped up in what’s going on around me, that I can lose sight of what truly grounds me – my faith.

Often times, I try to fix everything I can get my hands on. It’s taken me years to be able to recognize (most times) that it’s humanly not possible to resolve every conflict I come across, every sad story, every hurting person whom I meet. It’s in times like these that I constantly need to remind myself that I’m focusing on the wrong things.

When I was little, one of my favorite songs my mom would sing to us was “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus.” It’s such a classic, old hymn, and I had no idea that it would stick with me like it has through the years that followed my childhood, but it has.

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of Earth,

Will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace.”

When I find myself focusing on the things going on around me that get me down, I remind myself of those very words.

There was a time when I allowed everything that was going on in my life, including things with work and friends, and even just in my life generally, to take away my joy. I was trying so hard to hold onto it, and to overcome what I knew was happening, but I simply couldn’t.

If you’ve known me at all over the course of my lifetime, you know that I love Christmas. When I say “love” I mean “I FREAKING LOVE IT.” I’m that girl who will secretly listen to Christmas songs starting in October alone in my car knowing that so many people would judge me until after Thanksgiving. I’m that girl who lets the Christmas song play through when it comes on in May because my iPod was on shuffle. I’m that girl who puts so much effort and energy into picking out the best gifts, personalizing each wrapping paper and stacking all the presents so nicely they could be in a magazine somewhere. I’m that girl.

Well, this last Christmas season, “that girl” didn’t exist. I had allowed myself to become so distraught with everything going on around me that I almost completely shut down. I kept in touch with those who I knew would keep me lifted up in prayer, and I tried not to pretend that everything was “fine” when asked how I was doing. But of course, any time I’d share that I was struggling with things going on at work, I’d do so with a smile on my face and say “But I know it will all work out eventually.” Part of me genuinely believed it because I was hanging onto my faith as much as possible. I think the part of my heart that Christ had taken up residence in did know that to be true. But my head, on the other hand, was a different story.

I think the part of my heart that Christ had taken up residence in did know that to be true. But my head, on the other hand, was a different story.

Ironically, what started pulling me down even more was when I realized that I was NOT excited for Christmas. I knew the day was coming and I trusted that it would be a good day, but the days and weeks leading up to it? I wasn’t in it. That was a dark realization for me. My entire soul is rooted in family and traditions and joy, most often, and so when I realized I’d allowed the world to steal that joy, it was dark.

Luckily, I had my closest family and friends reminding me, and being the voice to that part of me which had already realized it, “don’t let this steal your joy. Don’t let this steal your light.” Those same people, my dad included, knew how much “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” meant to me and would consistently remind me to keep my focus on Him. Honestly, even those who weren’t as aware of my love for that song would say things like “Keep your eyes on Jesus.” Every time I’d hear those words, or any variant, I’d hear the melody sing through my head. It was as if it was helping the part of my heart that knew it would all work out to be put in alignment with my head that kept focusing elsewhere.

It was as if it was helping the part of my heart that knew it would all work out to be put in alignment with my head that kept focusing elsewhere.

I reached my breaking point in about the second week of December when I was convinced that I knew what the best decision to make was. I was so convinced, and rightfully so, that I was in the midst of extreme unhealthiness that had literally begun to threaten my own health. I kept hearing a small voice telling me to “wait.”

How many times had I heard that before? How many times in my life had I been reminded to just “be still” and have patience? So many. But I also kept reminding myself that if my focus was to be on Him and my trust was to be in Him that He would make all things work together for my good. “We know that God works all things together for good for the ones who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28 (CEB).

“We know that God works all things together for good for the ones who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28 (CEB).

I’m so glad I kept my focus on Him, although it was not easy to continue the wait, because ultimately, God DID work some pieces out. God did remind me that He is in charge. No earthly man can out-do Gods plan. It takes reminders now and then, in all forms, that God does have a plan for my life. It may not always be clear to me in the moment what His intent is for me, but He knows. His plan is splendor and majesty and perfect! We’ll never know it all, but in time, God does reveal parts and if we keep our focus on Him, we can see the beauty of it all.